Oh Baby!
by dontevenbother
Summary: You thought taking care of a plastic baby was hard work? At least it wasn't magical. Hilarity ensues as the students of Hogwarts learn a lesson in responsibility through Dumbledore's new parenting project. AU DG with several other minor pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Harry Potter universe.

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**Chapter One: Oh, Baby**

Dumbledore was well known for having some rather strange ideas, but sometimes you had to wonder if everything was working properly in the old man's head. There was a fine line between genius and insanity. The staff at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was starting to think that Dumbledore was possibly crossing that line.

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_Miss/Mr______________

_You are invited to attend a meeting this afternoon at three o'clock._

_It will be held in the Great Hall, and you presence is required._

_Students who elect not to attend the meeting will face_

_dire consequences. _

_We look forward to seeing you_

_Professor A. Dumbledore_

_Headmaster_

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Ginny Weasley raced down to the Great Hall for the impromptu meeting called by Professor Dumbledore. She had no idea what was going on, but it must have been an important matter for Dumbledore to call a meeting about it on a Saturday afternoon, several hours past lunch.

There was a large crowd of students gathered outside the Great Hall, trying to cram themselves in through the double doors. Ginny elbowed and pushed her way to the front of the queue and managed to squeeze in along with ten or so other people.

All four house tables were set up, but the tables were hardly full. Ginny glanced up and down the Gryffindor table until she spotted the tell-tale red hair that belonged to her brother Ron; where Ron was, Hermione and Harry could usually be found too.

Ginny sat down beside Hermione and looked up at the head table. Most of the staff wasn't there, but all four heads of house were present.

"Any clue what this is about?" she asked the brunette beside her.

Hermione looked up from her book, startled to see Ginny sitting beside her.

"I have no idea," she said. It was obvious that Hermione wasn't pleased that there was something going on at Hogwarts she wasn't privy to. She was the Head Girl after all.

Ginny looked along the Gryffindor table and spotted a few of her friends. She looked at all the other tables and noticed that only older students appeared to be present; just sixth and seventh years, in fact. This really was unusual.

Eventually the clamor of students entering through the doors lessened and by around five to three, it appeared that everyone who had been summoned was present. After a closer inspection, Ginny realized that every single sixth and seventh year at Hogwarts was there.

There was a soft murmur of chatter amongst the students as they guessed all the possible reasons they had been called down. She saw Professor Snape roll his eyes slightly as he overheard some sixth year Hufflepuff make her prediction.

Harry was sitting across from Ginny, looking tired and exhausted from that morning's Quidditch practice. Ron was slumped down on the bench as well, looking as if he'd rather be in bed. It was November and the weather was quite chilly, which made for some very unpleasant practices.

Ginny looked up towards the front of the hall as Professor Dumbledore walked towards center stage. He had a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. This meant that he was up to no good.

"Ten knuts says he tries to push house unity on us," Seamus said from somewhere close by.

The boys broke into amused laughter that they tried to play off as coughing when Professor McGonagall eyed them warily.

Dumbledore effectively ignored the boys as he surveyed the hall, which was rather empty, compared to how it was at mealtimes and normal assemblies.

"Thank you for coming," he began, as if he had given them a choice in the matter.

"You all must be wondering why you've been called down today," he continued happily. Several students nodded at him.

Hermione sat with a quill out, ready to jot down every word Dumbledore said, as if on the off chance she might be quizzed on it later.

"We have noticed the increase of students getting detention for doing… inappropriate… things in several of school's janitorial closets, along with the decrease of in the… borrowing of certain potions from Professor Snape's store."

If the situation wasn't so mortifying, one would laugh. Ginny was stunned, as were most of the students there. She understood what the Headmaster was getting at. Apparently one too many couples had been caught "shacking up" in a broom closet, but no one was stealing any contraceptive potion.

Ginny glanced at Hermione, who was staring at Dumbledore as if he had grown a second head. The situation was quite hard to believe. Was the Headmaster really about to give them the… sex talk?

The heads of house were sitting up at the front, not making eye contract with any of the students. Snape's expression was even more emotionless than usual, if that was possible; he stood up straight, stiff as a board. Ginny could tell that he was just as uncomfortable with the situation as the students were.

"We as a staff fear that many of you young minds are losing sight of responsibility as you approach these… endeavors."

"Oh, make it stop, please," Ron whispered, looking pale.

"That is why we have decided to take it upon ourselves to remind you of your responsibilities," Dumbledore went on, a gleam in his eyes. Ginny had a strange feeling at the pit of her stomach, as if something truly horrifying was about to happen.

"We have contacted all of your parents, and they have agreed that we should pursue this next course of action to remind you of your responsibilities."

At this, many of the Slytherin students looked up in surprise. It wasn't exactly a secret that several of the families involved with the Slytherin house weren't exactly fond of Dumbledore, so the fact that their parents approved of something Dumbledore wanted to do came as something of a shock.

Dumbledore didn't acknowledge the looks the student body was throwing him as he launched right back into his speech.

"That is why all sixth and seventh year students have been enrolled in a new class. A parenting class."

Dumbledore had to actually stop talking, waiting for the din from the outraged students to subside. Ginny looked around the table to see several different reactions, ranging from shocked to angry; Harry looked as if Voldemort himself had just walked in the room. Ron and Hermione didn't look much better.

Ginny herself felt mostly stunned, but there was some amusement. Dumbledore really was off his rocker, and it seemed like the heads of house felt much the same way. She watched as Dumbledore raised his hand, silencing the hall once again.

"As I was saying, you will all be enrolled in a parenting class, where you will be in charge of taking care of a baby day and night for an undetermined amount of time. You will receive extra credit for your hard work, but you will be graded on your ability to take care of your child. Of course, we understand that making a child is a two person job. That is why you will all be paired up. Pairs will be assigned."

As those words left Dumbledore's lips, all hell broke loose in the Great Hall. Everyone was shouting and yelling about the news. Ginny processed the whole speech in her head, trying to figure out exactly what this would accomplish.

"Uh, excuse me, Professor?" Hermione said loudly from her spot beside Ginny.

Dumbledore didn't seem to notice, and Ginny watched as Hermione got up off her seat and spoke louder in an attempt to be heard over the noise.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Dumbledore asked.

"You don't mean we'll be looking after real babies, do you?" Hermione asked hesitantly.

The noise level dropped as everyone turned to Dumbledore to hear the answer.

"No, not real babies, that would be almost cruel… for them. You will have to take care of a doll, but don't let that fool you. It will be a magical doll that will behave as a normal baby would."

The heads of house then started to hand out sheets of paper to students at their own tables. Ginny looked down at the sheet. It seemed to contain a list of rules and regulations involving the project. Ginny watched as Hermione absorbed every detail, making notes on the margins of the page. Ginny took closer look at her own page.

_**Project Parenthood: Your Guide to getting a successful grade and raising a healthy baby.**_

_It will accompany you to classes, and those students who don't have the same classes as their partner will have to devise a schedule as to who gets it when. It must be evenly split and we will find out if one parent does more work than the other_

_You will also have to split up the nighttime duties as well. The baby will be switched between the parents every night. The girls will start. All baby supplies will be transported to the other's room at midnight, including the baby._

_Your child will not interrupt you while in class. It may make noise, but it will NOT cry while you are in class, so therefore you do not need to worry about having your class time compromised._

_You must treat this as a real child, which means it must be fed (we will provide the magical milk) and the nappy must be changed periodically._

_Any damage towards the child will heavily impact your grade in this course, so we suggest you not use it as a makeshift Quaffle for Quidditch practices._

_You will be provided with a crib per child (yes that means some of you will have twins), nappies, bottles, clothing, blankets and an infant carrier which will make it easier to carry your child around._

_You will need to spend time with your partner, as you will be "married" to them. Trading off the child just to get a decent grade will not be acceptable. Both parents will raise their child(ren) and communication between the two is essential. _

Ginny stopped reading and looked up at the Headmaster with her mouth hanging open. Was he serious? This was completely unfair. Why were people who had no part in shagging in the broom closet being punished?

She voiced her opinion. "This is not fair."

"Agreed," Ron said, looking horrified as his eyes raced across the page, absorbing every word. If Ron studied his Potions text that thoroughly, he could be getting an 'O' in the class.

"Well, I mean, at least we get extra credit for it," Hermione said as her quill danced across the page.

Ginny rolled her eyes at Hermione's typical answer. She was not surprised that Hermione seemed to have no complaint about all the extra work this would involve.

"Well, without further ado, it's time to begin," Dumbledore said, conjuring a large box beside him. Ginny watched as he reached in with one hand and pulled out a very plastic baby, which wore nothing but a nappy, and Professor Sprout handed him a solid gold goblet similar to the ones they used during meal times.

"Hannah Abbott and Colin Creevey," Snape called out distastefully. He seemed to be reading the names from a piece of parchment.

Hannah and Colin stood up and walked to the front of the hall, where Dumbledore was standing. Dumbledore handed the plastic doll to Hannah and asked both of them for a piece of hair. Ginny watched in amazement as they each pulled a strand of hair from their heads and dropped them into the goblet as he asked.

Dumbledore tapped the side of the goblet and the contents disappeared. He then beckoned Hannah closer. She took a step forward and waited. Dumbledore took his wand and tapped the plastic baby on the head. The whole hall watched as the plastic doll started to morph. A fluff of curly blonde hair covered its head, and its skin became flushed. Hannah almost dropped it when it let out a loud wail.

"Fill out a birth certificate and hand it to one of the professors here before leaving," Dumbledore said as he pulled out the next plastic baby.

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Ginny tapped her foot impatiently as she watched students going up to receive their baby or, in some cases, babies.

Ron and Hermione were lucky enough to be paired up with each other, and now sat in front of her, each holding one of their twin boys. They both looked a little stunned, but it seemed everyone was suffering the same fate. At least their kids weren't crying, unlike several others.

She glanced across the room and watched Lavender trying to get her baby girl to be quiet. She had been paired up with Crabbe who, unsurprisingly, appeared to be completely out of his element.

Ginny looked at Harry, who was still single and childless. She really hoped that he would be paired with her. There weren't very many boys left that she would willingly work with on this.

"Pansy Parkinson and Harry Potter."

A loud shriek came from the Slytherin table, Where Pansy stood with a look of complete outrage on her face. Ginny saw Harry grimace as he stood up and reluctantly made his way to the front.

Ginny let her head fall down and hit the table, keeping it there. She was doomed, she could just feel it. Her last chance at possibly passing this project was with Pansy. Despite the fact that she came from a big family, she knew she wouldn't be capable of taking care of a baby. Not at sixteen. She was the baby of the family herself, and had no experience with children.

"Ginny Weasley," she heard Snape call. She bolted upright and waited for him to announce her fate. She saw a tiny frown cross his face. Oh, this could not be good. "And Draco Malfoy," he finished.

Ginny stood up and glanced across the hall, where furious grey eyes connected with her warm brown ones. She could not believe how cruel fate could be. She watched as Draco Malfoy started to walk toward the front of the room, where he took the plastic baby from Dumbledore's hand.

Draco held the baby as if it was contagious, extending his arm to keep it as far away from him as possible. Ginny found herself standing by him without knowing how she got there. She pulled out a strand of her red hair and dropped it promptly in the goblet, as Draco tugged out one of his platinum blond ones with a scowl.

Soon enough, the doll in Draco's hand started to change into something that looked like a real baby, with strawberry blonde hair.

"Take it, Weasley," Draco said, holding it more securely so it wouldn't fall from his grip. Ginny looked from Draco to the not-so-plastic baby. Her eyes rolled back and she fell to the floor, unconscious.

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So what do you guys think?

I want to thank Fiona for being my Beta and helping me make this readable, so thank you 


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to Fiona for her Beta Skills.**

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**Chapter 2 : Oh boy**

Ginny awoke to find herself staring up at a while ceiling. '_This is so not my room,' _she thought as she blinked rapidly against the brightness.

"Oh good, you're up," drawled a voice from somewhere out of her line of sight.

She shifted herself so that she was sitting up in the infirmary bed and glared at Draco Malfoy, who was lounging in one of the chairs by her bedside. Beside him on the floor was a baby seat, containing a sleeping baby who was sucking contentedly on his dummy .

"He looks so real," she said softly as she watched the slow rise and fall of the baby's chest. The wonders of magic, she guessed.

Draco just looked at her, raising his eyebrow slightly as if questioning her sanity.

"Why am I here? Better yet, why are you here?" she asked.

"Well, you're here because you were so excited to be paired with me that you fainted. Nothing to be ashamed of, seeing as I am so much better than you in so many ways. As for me being here, well that unfortunately is due to Dumbledore. Apparently stepping over your unconscious body and returning to my seat was inappropriate, considering that you are the mother of my fake plastic child," he said, rolling his eyes at the end.

"Well I'm fine, and he doesn't look plastic, and… oh, Merlin, what am I saying?"

"Great. I'll be leaving then," he said as he stood and started walking towards to door that would take him out of the infirmary.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she said, pointing to the sleeping baby.

"Nope, girls start first. I just had to be around until you decided to wake up from your little nap," he said, smirking nastily before walking back towards the exit.

"Wait!" she called again, making him stop to turn around and glare at her. It was obvious he was tiring of this little game.

"What's his name?" she asked. It was a fair question. She assumed he would have given the child a name already, as that was a requirement.

"Lynx Malfoy," he said smugly, and pushed open the door to leave.

"I'm so going to have to talk to Dumbledore about that," she said to the sleeping baby. She continued to examine him and realized he was dressed in blue footie pajamas that he hadn't been wearing when they received him. Had Malfoy really dressed their child?

Ginny felt slightly nauseous as she considered that this was the child of Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy, and she felt queasier still when she realized that the kid was actually quite cute. It was probably all thanks to her genes though, because obviously Malfoy wasn't able to positively contribute to the child's looks.

She lay her head back down against the pillows as she let the combination of darkness and utter silence pull her back to sleep.

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A loud, irritating wailing brought her out of her peaceful sleep. She opened her eyes and realized she was still in the hospital wing. It took another thirty seconds to realize why she was there in the first place.

She bolted upright and looked over the side of the bed where, sure enough, sat the baby, tucked in his little seat and wailing like a banshee.

Ginny swung her legs over the side of the bed, ignoring the cold marble floor against her bare feet. She knelt down beside the seat and fiddled with the various buckles for a few minutes before she was able to free him.

She picked him up and cradled him in her arms, rocking him gently. He didn't feel plastic at all, in fact, he felt warm. His cries slowly quieted until he was merely whimpering in her arms.

Ginny sat back down on her bed as she rocked the little boy. She looked up and saw Madam Pomfrey watching her from the door of her office. She had a smile of approval on her face.

"Everything alright, dear?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you," Ginny replied, watching the older woman walk back into her office, closing the door behind her.

"You're really loud, did you know that?" she said to Lynx as he nestled in closer to her.

"Well, I'm sure that comes from our side of the family."

Ginny looked up so fast she was sure she would suffer from whiplash. Ron looked at her with a lopsided grin on his face as he carried a baby seat in each hand.

Ginny smiled down at the twins Ron was lugging around. Those were technically her nephews.

"Well, yours are quiet."

"'Cause I finally got them to go to sleep."

"Where's 'Mione? Isn't it her day?" Ginny asked as she continued to rock little Lynx to sleep. He was quiet now, sucking his thumb. "Ron, pass me the dummy. It's in his baby seat."

Ron placed the baby seats down next to the empty one as he searched for the dummy. When he found it, he handed it to Ginny and collapsed into the chair by her bed.

"Hermione is on official Head Girl duty," he said as he rested his head against the back of the chair and closed his eyes. She'd never seen her brother look so tired. Being the father of twins was really getting to him.

Ginny looked at her nephews, who looked identical to each other, with tufts of red hair poking out from under their matching blue hats. It was quite adorable.

Ginny glanced down at Lynx to check if he was asleep yet, to find him looking up at her. It was the first time Ginny had seen him with his eyes open, and seeing those darkening grey eyes on his little face startled her.

She was distracted from his eyes when a she heard a little rumble. It didn't come from her. Ginny glanced at the baby, her own eyes widening in realization. How long had it been since her baby had been fed?

Ginny looked over at the baby seat and started to panic as she realized that his baby bag wasn't there. She tried to recall if it had been there when Draco was here, but she couldn't remember.

"Ron," she said. There was no response.

"Ron!" she said again, much louder this time. Ron's eyes popped open in alarm as he looked around the hospital wing. He relaxed as he realized that Death Eaters weren't breaking in.

"What's up, Gin?"

"I need a bottle," she said as she gestured to the baby in her arms.

"I didn't bring any with me," Ron told her, looking a bit panicked himself.

The hospital doors swung open and Hermione rushed in.

"Are they okay?" she asked Ron, worry all over her face.

"Yes, they're fine. Look, they're sleeping," Ron said proudly, as though this was some giant feat, which Ginny supposed it actually was. In his first day of being a father he'd managed to subdue a set of twins. Now, if only his methods would work on Fred and George.

"It's not that I don't trust you; I do. But this is more than just trust. This is my grade!" Hermione said as she checked to make sure that her babies were still breathing.

Ginny watched the situation with an amused expression on her face. Hermione finally finished her thorough inspection and looked over at her.

"How are you holding up, Gin?" she asked sweetly.

"I'm alright. Apparently I fainted, but I don't know why I haven't been released yet," she replied, glancing at Madam Pomfrey's closed office.

"Well, you did hit your head really hard," Hermione said passively as she cooed at baby Lynx.

"Where were you, anyway?" Ron asked.

"Oh, that," Hermione said with an eye roll. "I had to go chase people down and make them change their babies' names."

"What? Why?" Ginny asked the older girl.

"Well, some people gave their kids some atrocious names."

"Like?"

"Hogwarts Owl Davis, Firebolt Moonshine Whitby, Abcde Mudblood Goyle, and the list goes on," Hermione said dryly. "Oh, Gin, I almost forgot," she added, reaching into her bag and pulling out a folder. From it she pulled out a piece of thick parchment and handed it to Ginny.

Ginny took it and looked at it. It was a birth certificate; it was Lynx's birth certificate. And it was all filled out in neat script that she would never be able to duplicate.

"You need to sign it," Hermione said, handing her a quill.

Ginny handed Hermione the baby as she neatly signed her name on the line that stated 'mother'. Even her nicest writing looked illegible next to Malfoy's. '_Even his writing looks arrogant'_. Ginny scoffed at the paper.

"You can fill in a middle name as well. He left it blank."

Ginny noticed that the middle name was indeed blank. She thought about it for a bit before scribbling down _'_Arthur'.

"Lynx, he spells it differently then he says it," Ginny said absentmindedly.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, handing the baby back.

"Well, it's spelled L-Y-N-X, which is technically pronounced 'links' but he pronounces it 'lyn-ex'. Weird," Ginny said.

"You should put him back in his seat, or otherwise he'll get too used to being held, and then he'll complain every time you put him down or give him to someone else."

Ginny glanced at Hermione, arching an eyebrow.

Hermione pulled out a very heavy text entitled _'The Do's and Don'ts of Mummyhood',_ which probably weighed more than Hermione did.

"Her-My-Oh-Knee" Ron said, drawing out her name as he looked at the book. "Let me guess, light reading?"

Ginny could feel the tension in the room rising, so she quickly changed topics.

"So, what are my nephews named?"

"I named him Miles Jaden Weasley," Ron said, pointing to the twin on the right. "And Hermione named him," he said, pointing to the other baby, "Logan Asher Weasley."

"Already picked out his career, Hermione?" Ginny asked with a grin.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hermione said, and Ginny would have believed her, but Hermione was starting to blush.

"Logan Asher Weasley…his initials are L-A-W!" Ginny said, her grin widening.

"Hermione!" Ron said, looking outraged. "He's going to be a Quidditch player."

"He's not real," Ginny said, looking between the two. They were a match made in heaven… or possibly hell. It all depended on how you looked at it.

"Where's Harry?" Ginny asked, finally noticing the missing presence of the messy haired boy.

"Pansy and Harry are still arguing about names," Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

"Harry wants to name his daughter Lily Anna, while Pansy wants to name her Arian," Ron said, looking amused.

"They decided on a name," drawled Malfoy, leaning against the door of the infirmary. In his hand was a plain blue baby bag. "Arianna Bryony Parkinson-Potter."

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" Ron asked, the smile gone from his face.

"Just dropping off some baby stuff," Draco said as he made his way over to Ginny's side and dropped the bag on her bed.

"Uh…thanks," Ginny muttered, looking at him darkly. He simply smirked and started to walk back towards the door. He stopped mid-stride and walked back over to the bed, pulled out a tiny magazine from his pocket and drew his wand. He returned the magazine to normal size and handed it to her.

"Lynx may be fake and everything, but he's a Malfoy and therefore he will no longer be dressed in the rubbish Hogwarts has provided. Pick some stuff you like and send the order form."

Ginny looked at him, surprise evident on her face. This parenting thing was really bringing out a different side of Draco. Was it possible that Malfoy really wasn't as big an ares as she'd thought ?

"I'm not doing this for you. It's something all the Slytherins are doing, so don't feel special or think I care about you. Last thing we need is for you to pass out again," he said dryly.

Alright, moment successfully ruined, Ginny thought. Obviously he was a bigger arse than she had previously thought.

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**Alright, first I want to Thank You guys for reading and reviewing. I'm simply stunned at the kind words you guys left. **

**I hope you guys liked the second chapter. It's really still in the building stages, so I hope I wasn't too boring. **

**Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Any couples you want to see paired up that I haven't already paired up? Just drop me a line.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Oh, that can't be good!**

Ginny looked at Professor Sprout, who was explaining the importance of handling some sort of violent plant, but Ginny couldn't bring herself to actually care about the words coming out of the older woman's mouth. She was tired, no, _exhausted_. Her eyes were red from lack of sleep and it was easy to tell the rest of the class felt about the same. This project was really taking its toll on them.

Ginny stifled a yawn and rested her head on her arms. She noticed a few of the guys kept looking down at their babies; it was their turn today. Ginny smiled at the thought of Draco having to take care of their kid. She really wished she could see that, but unfortunately, she was a year younger. Hermione was keeping her up to date though.

"Oh shit!" Colin shouted loudly, grabbing his wand. Ginny bolted up to see what happened.

"Mr. Creevy, twenty points from—" Professor Sprout was halfway through her sentence when she realized what was happening.

Ginny found herself captivated by the scene, unable to move.

The plant Colin was working with seemed to have gotten out of hand and started to attack the baby seat. Loud wails emitting from the little girl drowned out any other sound in the greenhouse.

Colin was shouting out curses left and right as he tried to free the little girl. After realizing that his physical strength wasn't working he started to shoot off spells at the plant. The plant seemed to grow angry with every spell and it tightened its grip on the girl's body.

The whole class watched as the morbid scene unfolded. Professor Sprout seemed to be glued to the spot, one of her hands on her mouth while the other clutched the tabletop.

Ginny's gaze returned to Colin as he shouted out every spell he could think of, to no avail.

Professor Sprout seemed to come to her senses and stepped forward; pointing her wand at the plant and saying the body binding spell just as Colin shouted out the stunning spell.

The two spells, aimed from two different directions, met each other as they hit the plant. The plant exploded upon the impact of the combined spells.

The class stood dead still with looks of shock on their faces as they took in the scene. The greenhouse was covered in plant guts mixed with little plastic bits.

A scream was heard and the whole class looked over at a blonde sixth year Hufflepuff who looked mortified. "There's an eye in my hair!" she said as she burst into tears and started to jump up and down trying to get all the guts off her. Her friends quickly rushed to her aid, and joined in on the jump dance she had started.

"Uh…class dismissed," Professor Sprout said, clearing her throat.

Most of the class rushed out, but Ginny walked over to Collin who seemed to be drenched head to toe in guts and plastic.

"I killed Alexis," he muttered, looking shocked. Ginny just patted him on the back, doing her best to avoid the wet patches.

"It was an accident," she told him soothingly.

"She was only a week old," he said glumly "I'm a horrible father."

"You're sixteen, you're not supposed to be good, and she wasn't real."

"Oh great, I guess I just failed."

"I'm sure Dumbledore won't fail you."

"Hannah is going to hate me. First I killed her daughter, and then I make her fail."

Ginny continued to pat his back, but opted to stay silent seeing as talking wasn't exactly helpful in any way, shape, or form. She also knew that the whole school would know by Lunchtime. It had been a little over a week since the project had started, and this was the first casualty. It was going to be brutal for Collin, but there wasn't anything she could do, other than be a good friend and stand by his side.

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Lunch was just as bad as she thought it was going to be. The whole school was aware that Collin Creevy had let his child get murdered, though the facts were slightly skewed. But that was typical of all Hogwarts gossip.

Ginny was glad Collin wasn't there and neither was Hannah. Ginny shoved a forkful of mashed potatoes in her mouth before she looked over at the Slytherin table where Draco was enjoying his lunch with his friends.

She saw him look down at the bench of his left side where she assumed Lynx sat. It was pretty much mandatory to bring the babies to all meals.

The younger students who weren't part of the project looked at the crying babies with looks of annoyance. Ginny just glared at them, jealousy evident in her eyes. She would give anything not to have to do this, hell; she would give anything to not be partnered with Malfoy for this.

The doors of the Great Hall opened and Collin walked in glumly, Hannah nowhere in sight. The noise level of the Hall dropped dramatically as everyone watched Collin's trek to the Gryffindor table.

He plopped down beside Ginny dejectedly.

"What happened?" Ginny asked quietly so they wouldn't be overheard.

"We had a meeting with Dumbledore."

"And?"

"And, it's over."

"He failed you?" Ginny asked a look of shock on her face. She really didn't think Dumbledore would fail him.

"No worse. I have to get a divorce."

"What?" Ginny asked, not really following the conversation.

"Hannah claims that she cannot work with me any longer since we don't have a child anymore. She says it's too hard on her, since every time she looks at me she just thinks of me as the man who killed her child. She said that baby Alexis was the only reason we were together, and that now Alexis was gone, she really had no reason to be with me. Dumbledore agreed and granted us a divorce."

"So, you don't have to do this anymore? You're done with the project?"

"Not exactly. Apparently some other Hufflepuff couple has been having trouble with their relationship. See they were partnered together because they were a couple before the project, but he cheated on her, and it's all a big mess, so Dumbledore is granting them a Divorce as well which means we're all just switching partners."

Ginny took this into considerations, and it seemed to make sense. Now that she thought about it, it did seem like everyone who was in a relationship prior to the project was partnered together.

Ginny was really intrigued by these divorces Dumbledore was handing out. She was sure she would be able to get one if she played her cards right; after all, she was paired with Draco Malfoy.

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**Draco POV**

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Draco sat in one of the black leather armchairs in front of the fire as he flipped through his potions textbook. His eyelids felt heavy, but he forced his eyes to stay open and finish reading the assigned chapter.

He could hardly make out the words on the page anymore as they started to blur. He blinked rapidly to clear his sight, but he just didn't have it in him to concentrate on his books.

Instead, he started to look around the packed silver and green common room in search of a bit of comic relief.

"What are you looking at?" Pansy asked as she looked up from her own Potions text. Pansy was occupying one of the other armchairs in front of the fire, and she looked no better than he did.

"Blaise," he answered as he glanced around the room once more.

"He's not here," she said.

"Really Pans? I didn't notice," he said sarcastically.

"Could have fooled me," she muttered as she started to read again.

Draco sighed, "Any idea where he might be?" he asked, not looking the girl in the eye, but choosing to look down at the baby seat where Lynx was sucking on his dummy wearing a miniature silk blue robe on top of his cashmere pajamas, his big gray eyes gazing back at him innocently.

"He's quite adorable," Pansy said as she followed his gaze towards Lynx and looked at him warmly. "Blaise is with Lovegood of course," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it was as of late.

"I don't understand why he follows Lovegood around in hopes of getting her in the sack. It's obvious the girl wants nothing to do with him, and she doesn't seem to be too thrilled about having a baby with him, figuratively or literally."

Pansy snorted at the comment, something Draco noted she only did in front of Blaise and himself. She had an image to uphold to the rest of the world, but in reality Pansy was a good person, despite her upbringing. She played the part of Queen Bitch really well, but it just wasn't her.

"How are things going with you and Saint Potter?" Draco asked with a smirk. Pansy glared at him.

"Oh about as perfect as things between you and little Weasley," she said, bitchiness evident in her tone.

"I still don't understand how the hell that happened," Draco said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Don't understand how what happened?" asked an amused voice from behind him. Draco looked over to see Blaise standing over his shoulder with a grin on his face and a baby seat in his hand.

"I don't understand how you became such a wanker," Draco answered. He would have rolled his eyes at the other boy but at the moment it required more effort than he had.

The snide comment seemed to roll off Blaise as he settled down in the empty armchair between Draco and Pansy. The baby in the seat seemed to be whimpering slightly as Blaise put the seat down on the ground.

"She's been doing that all day," Blaise said thoughtfully as he looked down at the little girl.

"Have you fed her?" Pansy asked.

"Yes."

"Has she slept?"

"Yeah, she just got up like an hour ago."

"Have you changed her nappy?" Pansy asked as she looked down at the little baby who continued to make her strange whimpering sounds.

"No, was I supposed to?" Blaise asked, looking nervous at the mere thought.

"Of course you are!" Pansy shouted sounding exasperated. Draco watched as Pansy turned her gaze onto him asking him the silent question. His own gaze drifted down to Lynx and then back to Pansy, a horrified expression on his face.

"You guys are hopeless," she said as she stood up and started walking up the boy's staircase. She looked back a few seconds later. "Follow," she ordered as she continued her march towards the dorms.

--------------------

Draco followed Pansy as she walked past all the dorms and stopped in front of the last door on the right. On the door hung a golden plaque that had '_Draco Malfoy' _written on it with a carving that replicated the Head Boy badge underneath.

He whispered the password and the door swung open. He motioned for Pansy to enter first before following her in. Blaise entered last and closed the door behind him.

Draco carefully lifted Lynx out of his carrier and placed him down on the bed so he was lying on his back. Draco watched as Blaise followed suit on the other side of the bed.

"Now what?" Blaise asked Pansy as she looked at them with a grin.

"Now you undress them carefully until you find the nappy. Then you take it off and replace it with a new clean one," she said having way too much fun with the whole situation.

Draco grimaced as he looked down at the baby. Lynx was laying there, eyes opened and a grin on his little face. Draco knew the kid was tormenting him on purpose. Not being one to back down from a challenge he carefully unbuttoned the robe and slipped it down Lynx's arms without hurting him too badly. Next he took off the thick pajama bottoms. Draco tried to be as gentle as possible, which was making the process take lot more time then it should. He had just about slipped the pajamas off the boy's legs when he heard Pansy shriek in outrage.

Draco looked up at Pansy, his eyebrows slightly raised.

"How could you?" Pansy shouted as she looked down at Blaise's daughter Sasha. Draco noticed that the young girl's dress was tossed aside as she lay on the bed in a pale pink t-shirt and her nappy.

Draco assumed there was more to the situation then he could see. He looked down at Lynx who seemed busy eating his feet. He placed Lynx further up the bed so that he couldn't roll off and walked over to the other side to see what had Pansy so worked up.

Draco kept the neutral expression on his face as he studied little Sasha realizing exactly where Pansy's rage was coming from.

Sasha's pink shirt clearly stated _'All daddy wanted was a blowjob'_ in big bold black letters across the front. Draco wisely decided to stay silent as he walked over to his own child as he let Pansy deal with Blaise, who was grinning ear to ear.

Draco pulled the sticky bits on the nappy to release it. He took a few steps back looking disgusted as the nappy came loose. How did he let Pansy talk him into this? He could not do this.

"Well I'm not doing this for you Draco," Pansy said as if she read his mind, her hands resting on her hips making her look even more imposing than was normal.

"I'm not doing this," Draco stated firmly as he backed away a little more. There was no way in hell he would touch that willingly.

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Draco sat on the black leather loveseat in his room, his hands resting behind his head as he smirked at Pansy who was fuming at him from her position by the bed.

"It's done Mr. Malfoy, _Sir_," the pretty fourth year stated as she whipped out her wand to dispose of the dirty nappy. She handed a fully dressed Lynx to him.

Draco took Lynx from her and handed her five galleons and waved her off.

An official Hogwarts owl flew through his window and rested on the perch that belonged to his own personal owl. Draco stood up; placing Lynx in his crib before taking the letter from the owl that promptly flew off once it was released of its duty.

Draco scanned the content of the letter, a frown settling over his face. Once he was done reading the letter he clutched it tightly in his hands, furious.

"Merlin Weasley, what did you do?" Draco said to no one in particular, his words laced in anger.

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**Sorry it took so long, I had beta issues. Big thanks to **RavenclawRebel **for being my beta for this chapter.**

**I hope you liked it, let me know what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Oh kill me now**

Ginny sat in the common room, a blanket thrown over her shoulders as she bottle fed Lynx. It was six in the morning, and the common room was deserted of all other students.

"There you are," Hermione said as she hopped down the stairs in her uniform, ready for the day.

"Here I am," Ginny replied, suppressing a yawn.

"This came for you last night, but you were in the library and I didn't see you come back in. I kept it for you," she said, handing Ginny a thick envelope.

Ginny had spent a good portion of her evening in the Headmaster's office, trying to convince him that allowing Draco and her to get a divorce was really in everyone's best interests. Dumbledore had been quick to see that Ginny was right, and that the mock relationship between Draco and her just wasn't working out as planned.

She felt good about what she had accomplished, and was certain that Dumbledore would grant her the divorce she rightfully deserved.

Ginny smiled happily at Hermione and handed her Lynx before taking the envelope from her. She looked at it and noticed the Hogwarts crest on the top left corner. Her smile grew wider as she tore it open; she hadn't expected the divorce to go through this quickly.

_Miss Weasley,_

_You made a very strong case in my office this evening, and I have to agree that things between you and Mr. Malfoy aren't working according to plan. I fear that it is the lack of communication and past differences that keep you from being fit to parent Lynx Arthur Malfoy._

_With that said, I still don't think that a divorce would be in the best interests of the two of you at the moment. If I granted you a divorce based on past differences and lack of communication I would have to grant divorces to ALL Gryffindor/Slytherin partnerships, which is something I very much can't do._

_What I can do is sign both you and Mr. Malfoy up for MANDATORY therapy sessions so that you can work out your differences in a convenient and supervised manner._

_Your first meeting will be on Thursday, November 20__th__ at 6:30pm. You will meet with Mr. Malfoy and the assigned counsellor on the third floor in the empty Transfiguration room._

_Dumbledore_

_Headmaster_

Ginny looked at the piece of parchment with a frown on her face. Had she read that correctly? She scanned the contents of the letter once again. The words had not changed and she had not misread it. Ginny banged her head against the back of the chair she was seated on repeatedly. Not only did she _not _get the divorce she was sure she would get, she ended up being _forced_ to spend time with Malfoy…and a councillor.

How had things gone so wrong?

"Are you okay, Ginny?" Hermione asked, looking at the younger girl with an expression of worry clear on her face.

"Oh, I'm bloody fantastic," she retorted sarcastically as she took her baby from Hermione.

"This all your fault," she muttered darkly to the baby in her hands. He just looked up at her and gave her an adorable toothless grin. "Stop it, I can't stay mad at you when you act all cute," she told him sternly.

"Gin, are you sure you're okay?" Hermione asked once again, "I mean, you are having a conversation with a, well... a toy."

Ginny sighed. "I'm fine, really, I'm just really tired. I don't understand how you can be so_... _so _you_ in the morning, considering you have twins."

"I get tired too, of course, but Ron and I take care of the kids every day together, rather than by ourselves every other day, so it's easier," Hermione said, sounding suspiciously like the letter Dumbledore had sent her.

Ginny gave the older girl a look before turning her attention back to Lynx. Today was going to be hell.

-----------------------

"Ginny, you're over-reacting," Luna said, her voice taking on its usual dreamy quality. Ginny turned to frown at the blonde.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" She asked as she jotted down notes off the board in Charms class.

"Because it's true," Luna stated as she looked down at Sasha and Lynx, who were sleeping by her feet. "Do you think I like this?"

"Blaise is so much better compared to Malfoy," Ginny complained, growing frustrated at everyone's calm attitudes.

"Oh yeah, so much better," Luna said, a hint of sarcasm present in her voice. "I got paired with the Italian manwhore and you with the English one. Face it Gin, we're both stuck with people that we don't like, but we aren't the only ones. Most people are partnered with someone they don't like."

Ginny looked at the blonde and sighed, leaning back into her chair. Maybe Luna was right; maybe it was time that she quit whining and just sucked it up. She was a Weasley after all, and she could deal with that spoilt little Malfoy; after all, Ron did it practically every day. She knew her mother would be disappointed in her if she saw her now.

"Fine, I'll go to this stupid therapy thing tonight, but I'm not going to act all happy about it," Ginny said.

She saw Luna grinning through her peripheral vision.

"That's all I ask," Luna said after a moment.

Ginny threw her quill down on her parchment and flexed her fingers. They were starting to cramp with all the writing. She noticed that most of the class was still writing away, and used that time to look over at the children.

Lynx was sleeping, his mouth gaping open, his chest rising and falling. Sasha, on the other hand, seemed to be wide awake now. Her hair was dark blonde, a mix between Luna and Blaise. It was fairly short, and she had a cute pink bow in her hair that Luna told Ginny was all Blaise's doing.

The girl was on the pale side, her eyes a bright blue. She was dressed in an adorable green dress that Luna had purchased from the same catalogue that Draco had given her for Lynx - he may have be a pain in the arse, but Draco definitely knew where to get the cutest kids' clothing.

"You won't believe what Blaise did," Luna said as she launched into a story involving a pink shirt with a very explicit message.

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Ginny had a quick dinner in the kitchen where Dobby regaled her with tales of the house elf adventures through Hogwarts. She finished quickly, bidding goodbye to the excited house elf, and started on her journey to the third floor.

She arrived outside the Transfiguration room with fifteen minutes to spare. Ginny thought about turning away, but decided against it. She pushed open the door and was surprised to see Malfoy sitting there, his back to her as he bent over a book.

Ginny walked in and tried to make some noise as she sat down in a chair on the other side of the room. She watched as Draco looked up at her, a sneer on his face.

"Where is Lynx?" he asked, as he noticed that the child was not with Ginny. Most likely concerned more about his grade than the boy's well-being.

"Hermione and Ron are baby sitting him," she said nonchalantly.

"Tell me Weasley, why am I here?"

"Well I was trying to get us divorced, as in _cancelling our partnership_?"

"Then how the hell did we end up in therapy?"

"My plan was flawed, sue me."

"Oh, don't think I can't," he muttered as he turned back to his homework.

Ginny watched him; she never knew he was so studious. It wasn't a big secret that Draco was a smart kid, but she never thought he had to work for his grades. It was stupid really, but she just assumed that he just _got_ them. Kind of like how Harry was skilled at Quidditch. It wasn't something he had to work to perfect.

"Weasley, I know I'm irresistible, but can you stop staring at me? At least close your mouth, you're starting to create a puddle on the floor."

Ginny didn't have time to respond to his snide comment before the heavy wooden door swung open, casting the silhouette of a grown man standing in the doorway, looking very imposing. He stepped into the room and Ginny just stared, her mouthing hanging wide open. Draco looked baffled too, though he managed to keep his mouth closed.

"Not. One. Word," Snape said as he walked to the front of the room, settling in behind the desk. He pulled out his wand, casting a spell to close and lock the door.

"You?" Ginny asked, a look of confusion clear on her face.

Snape shot her a dark look, but otherwise didn't acknowledge that she had spoken. Typical. Ginny huffed and leant back into her seat; how was counselling with Snape supposed to work to anyone's benefit? She peeked at Draco from the corner of her eye, and noticed that he looked more composed than she did, but the shock was still there. She glanced once again at Snape as he fumbled with some papers, muttering darkly to himself. Ginny picked up on the words "Dumbledore", "mind", "crack" and the phrase "kill them both." She didn't even want to know what he was going on about, but it was obvious that he wanted to be here less than she did, and that was saying something.

"Why do you think that Dumbledore has decided that this was in your best interest?" Snape asked his voice was void of emotion.

"Who knows what the old coot is thinking," Draco muttered and Ginny had to hold back a smile. Normally she would jump to the Headmaster's defence, but she wasn't too happy with him currently.

Snape gave the boy a hard look before he turned his attention back to his parchment. Ginny realized that Snape was reading questions off the sheet. She had never been in therapy before, but she was pretty sure this wasn't how it was done.

"Mr. Malfoy, why do you dislike Miss Weasley so much?"

"Well there's this slight problem of her being, how should I put it... a _Weasley_," Draco said, lounging in his chair. Ginny huffed at his response.

"And how do you feel about this, Miss Weasley?"

"Oh, my heart is breaking," Ginny said sarcastically.

"I wouldn't be surprised," Draco said with a smirk. Oh, how she would love to wipe that stupid grin off his stupid smug face.

"Bite me."

"Oh, do you like that sort of—"

"Enough!" Snape said, before their bickering got out of control, as it usually did.

Ginny folded her arms across her chest as she leaned back in her chair, a scowl on her face. She looked up at Snape who was clutching his wand tightly, his gaze fixed between the two students.

"Why do you think the Malfoys are better than the Weasleys?" Snape asked.

"What have the _Weasleys_ ever done?" Draco asked in a bored tone.

"More than the Malfoys," Ginny shot back.

"Like what?" Draco asked, as if he was amused by the situation.

"My dad works for the Ministry—"

"So does mine," Draco shot back.

"There's a difference between working for and paying off," Ginny said her voice becoming acidic.

"It's called donating to charity, but I guess you wouldn't know what that is, since you're more used to getting it than giving it," Draco said, his face looking slightly flushed.

Ginny glared at him, his comment stinging more than it should have. She was not reliant on charity, just because her family didn't have as much money as his family did.

"Well at least my parents love me," Ginny said. It was weak, she knew it, but she had to say something.

"Yeah, my parents hate me so much. Maybe that's why they are always buying me things."

"Well if they buy you a broom, it's so you spend time in the sky, rather than annoying them," Ginny spat back, anger rising within her. She watched Malfoy open his mouth to retort, but he seemed to falter. His cold, grey eyes made contact with her, and she could feel the anger radiating from them. Ginny swelled with pride as she realized that she had managed to hit a nerve.

"Cat got your tongue?" she asked happily as his eyes narrowed.

"I've had enough!" Snape barked, his left hand clutching his wand tightly. Ginny wiped the smile off her face as she looked at the older man. "I want both of you out."

Ginny got up quickly, rushing to the door, but it was still locked. She turned back around to look at Snape. She noticed that he was watching Draco pack up his things.

"Both of you will spend every minute together from the end of your daily classes until curfew during the weekdays. I will find out if you don't, and the consequences will be those which I'm sure you'd rather not face. This will be in effect from tomorrow."

Ginny heard the lock click, and she was able to pull the door open.

"Good job, _Weasley_," Draco said darkly from behind her. She was really getting sick of his attitude.

"Oh fuck off, Malfoy," she said as she reached the stairs.

"I know you wi—" he was cut off as Ginny pointed her wand at him, shooting out her infamous bat-bogey curse, which seemed to shut him up effectively.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor," called Snape from behind her.

"Damn," she muttered as she climbed up the stairs, heading to the Gryffindor common room to relieve her brother and Hermione of their baby sitting duties.

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There are some pictures of the babies on my profile page. Let me know what you think


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